


A Trip Down Memory Lane

by eemamminy



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 09:00:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eemamminy/pseuds/eemamminy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time can be so fleeting. The Sole Survivor seeks out some well-needed catching up in the easiest way that two emotionally deficient people can: in the Memory Den.</p>
<p>*Major spoilers for the Fallout 4 main story, particularly the Institute quest line!*</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Trip Down Memory Lane

A flash of blinding blue light burst through the dimly lit Memory Den, the crash of dispersing energy almost as loud as the screams of shock scattering through the drab lounge. A few of the loungers were occupied, but the hazy dreamers were too far off in their own memories to notice the old model synths pouring into the space. Irma scrambled over her chaise longue, kicking an ashtray on the way past. Cigarette ash sprinkled onto her gown as she fled to the side room where Kent normally resided, her eyes wide in disbelief.  
  
Leading the synths was an all too familiar woman: the grieving mother from Vault 111 who had made her presence known well in the Commonwealth. Victoria’s pale blue eyes held the same pain and determination they had the first time Irma had seen her, piercing into the shaking woman as she strode past with her synths in tow and a well-dressed elderly man beside her. Although her face and stride were the same, there was an air of coldness about her now. Instead of the bright blue vault suit she once donned, she now wore a peculiar white uniform: unusually clean and crisp for any garment in the wasteland.  
  
“Stop!” cried a voice from the back, shaking with anger more than fear. Doctor Amari had appeared by the stairs, her body trembling as she looked upon the sole survivor and her intimidating entourage. “Why are you here? Haven’t you already destroyed enough?”  
  
The synths all raised their rifles in unison, a dozen yellow eyes bearing down on the doctor all at once. Amari didn’t flinch. Her eyes remained locked on Victoria, who raised a hand to signal the synths to hold fire.  
  
Victoria hesitated before she spoke, her face somber despite how flat her words were, “I did what I had to do.”  
  
Amari scoffed, spitting in her direction.  
  
“Everything I’ve done has been for the Commonwealth,” Victoria asserted through a grimace, her white boots clicking on the dirty floor as she stepped toward Amari. With piercing blue eyes she appraised the doctor, whose body was trembling with rage, or adrenaline, or hatred-- she couldn’t tell exactly, though she supposed it didn’t matter all that much in the end.  
  
“Or if not for the Commonwealth,” she corrected, closing the quickly shrinking gap between herself and her former friend until their faces were a breath away from one another, “what I’ve done has been for my son.”  
  
A shiver ran through Shaun’s spine at her words, though he hid it well. After so many years of practiced stoicism and discipline, he’d all but mastered concealing his feelings and body language. It might have been distressing to see how fearsome and emotionless his mother could be, but logically he knew she could only be this way: This is what the wasteland had done to her, what her grief and sorrow had done to her. It was this very demeanor that influenced Shaun’s decision in naming her as his successor. Despite the appearances, however, he knew she wasn’t entirely without a heart. After all, they wouldn’t be in this filthy pseudo-scientific den if not for her sentimentality.  
  
“You once told me that you wished I would be reunited with my son. I have.”  
  
Amari’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, glancing between Victoria and the unfriendly crowd that stood behind her. There didn’t appear to be a child present, but she couldn’t be sure. Breaking their locked gaze gave Victoria the advantage, who snatched up the doctor’s wrists tightly. A gasp and a few struggled grunts escaped her lips as she tried to break free, but her wriggling proved to be fruitless.  
  
“Doctor Amari, I’m giving you a choice. Because I once thought of you as my friend, I think you deserve it.”  
  
Amari sneered, _how dare she._ After all that Victoria had destroyed, after all the lives that had been lost by her hands, she still had the gall to be so condescending.  
  
“Either you can stand back, and allow my son and I to use your memory loungers undisturbed…” Victoria’s expression darkened, her nails digging into Amari’s wrists as she snarled the rest of her proposal, “... or you and everyone in Goodneighbor will be slaughtered by the Institute.”  
  
Amari’s face wrinkled, her expression that of pure disgust and hatred as she spat back, “I refuse to have anyone’s blood on my hands, unlike you! Do what you will, but for the love of God, no more violence!”  
  
Releasing her with a smirk, Victoria watched as Amari skittered away to join Irma and Kent in the side room. Although the thought of wiping an irrelevant settlement off the map wasn’t ideal, she would have done it if there had been no other choice. After all, Shaun is her priority. Especially now.  
  
A wave of sadness rushed over her as she remembered the bleak news again. The thought of losing Shaun once was already fresh enough without the nagging truth that she’d lose him again soon-- this time forever. Shrugging it off with a small sigh, she motioned for her synths to remain in the room and beckoned for Shaun to follow her downstairs.  
  
There was a growing stillness as they descended the stairs, each step putting more space between them and the others until it felt as though they had true privacy. A faint hum from the memory lounger and its associated terminal created a calming white noise as they entered the room.  
  
Victoria’s could feel her heart beating quicker as she recalled the last time she’d used one of the memory loungers. More specifically, her blood boiled when she thought of Kellogg, who just so happened to be associated with this place. All the life that he’d robbed from her still angered her, even though she’d had her revenge already. She took in a deep breath and held it as she counted the seconds down in her head, finally releasing it as she looked up at Shaun again. After all, she’d brought them here for his sake. It didn’t matter if he was going to die tomorrow or twenty years from now, he needed to know who his parents were. She needed him to know.  
  
Going over the process of using the memory lounger wasn’t difficult for either of them to grasp seeing as they were both competent scientists, albeit from different eras, but the tech was relatively simple to work with regardless. Before stepping into the lounger, Victoria made sure to hug Shaun. It was a gesture she rarely felt it was her place to do, even despite being his mother, but now seemed like as good a time as any. Shaun did his best not to wince as she squeezed him; although his body was sensitive and sore inside and out due to his disease and the attempts made at treatment, he didn’t want to let on just exactly how much pain he was in.  
  
With a faint smile, Victoria settled into the memory lounger. A soft, mechanical click indicated that the pod was sealed, and no sooner did her experience begin. Shaun looked on from a separate screen as vignettes of his mother’s life played before his eyes.  
  
Each scene was just a few minutes at a time, but even the briefest glimpse into her life was fascinating. Her earliest memories were as a young girl: dirtying and tattering her beautiful cotton dresses as she played outside with the boys, being scolded for taking apart her dad’s radio and not being able to put it back together, seeing the joy and satisfaction on her chubby, freckled little face as she finally _did_ reconstruct the radio.  
  
Then she was a teenager. Sharing in first kisses with boys and girls alike, spending an entire week of summer vacation building a clunky robot out of spare parts in the hopes that it might help her with her chores, getting accepted into CIT of all places, to study robotics. A very genuine smile crossed Shaun’s weathered lips, finding himself ever more endeared to his mother knowing how similar they turned out to be.  
  
The memories continued onward, becoming longer as she progressed in age. Victoria was a young woman now, beautiful and fresh-faced and jubilant. She was engrossed in her studies, excitedly writing code and building models for her projects and theses, graduating with honors and landing a job at the highly prestigious General Atomics.  
  
Then he appeared. A spike in Victoria’s heart rate on the screen gave Shaun a clue, as if he couldn’t tell just by the resemblance he beared to the young man. A rugged soldier with a dirty blond crew cut and a winning smile. The poster boy for an American soldier. His mother was a completely different person around him. Clumsy and inappropriate, her freckled cheeks turning from their usual soft pink to a brilliant red in his presence. This was what love must have looked like.  
  
Every memory now was all about Nate. Weekends in Fenway Park, evenings spent under the stars or at a drive-in movie, laughter and kisses always present. He watched as his father left for his deployment, and how sorrowfully his mother wailed and sobbed once he’d left. There were brief flashes of Victoria’s excitement in receiving a new letter from him every few months, interspersed with her longing and her tears from being without him.  
  
Another scene played, the background and colors more crisp than the other memories had been. This must have be something important. Shaun swallowed heavily, a familiar door swinging open to reveal a very broken man. Nate wore his dress uniform, decorated with new medals across his chest, and a heavy-duty brace running up his right leg. Fresh scars and burns ran across his face, tarnishing the good looks he once boasted. Truly he was the poster boy for an American soldier after all.  
  
Tears were streaming down Victoria’s cheeks both in the memory and in real time. Guilt began to set in as he watched her, clearly in pain to have to relive all of this. With a few keystrokes he ended the simulation and the pod screeched open. Reality set in slowly for Victoria, crying and disoriented as her brain processed where she was now. A frail, wrinkled hand extended toward her and she took it, lurching out of the lounger and into her son’s arms.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she sniffled, turning her head to the side so that she could dab her eyes on her sleeve. “We should… We should keep going.”  
  
“I’ve seen enough,” Shaun replied softly. Raising a hand toward her face, he hesitated before wiping a tear away. It was a simple gesture, but it was one that was unfamiliar to him still. At this rate it always would be.  
  
“No,” Victoria persisted, her blue eyes bloodshot as she stared up at her son’s matching pair, “I want you to see how much we love you.”  
  
“I can already see that. You’ve proven that to me ever since the moment we met,” he reassured her through a weak smile, “So please, Mother, don’t push yourself any further. I’ve seen enough.”  
  
With a heavy heart, she slowly nodded. It was a lot for him to absorb, she understood that. Hell, all of this was a lot for both of them. Seeing Nate again, even though she knew it was just a memory, was as painful as losing him all over again. Her heart ached as she held onto Shaun for another few minutes, the tears and ragged breaths subsiding as she calmed down and embraced the present.  
  
Wordlessly she moved to the terminal that controlled the memory lounger, hitting a few keys to reset the pod for a new user. Now it was Shaun’s turn. His tired old bones ached as he reclined back into the seat, taking a deep breath as the lounger sealed shut once again.  
  
Somewhat unexpectedly, there was a sterility to Shaun’s memories, even those from when he was a child. The young boy was surrounded by scientists and synths at all times, either taking notes on his behavior or taking samples for the Gen 3 project. It was obvious that he was set apart from everyone else in the Institute, but the boy longed for social contact. He’d chatter on to himself as he played with his toys or read his books, sometimes talking to the synths nearby as well though he rarely got a response. It was a cold and loveless childhood, although he seemed to be well-provided for. Despite being frozen in a vault during this time in Shaun’s life, Victoria still blamed herself. If only she could have escaped when Kellogg unfroze her all those years ago, maybe she could have been the mother than Shaun needed and deserved. If only.  
  
The memories rolled on, and Shaun was now a teenager. A sense of deja vu came over them both, as he tinkered away and built his own robots and devices not entirely unlike his mother at that same age. There was a distinct lack of interpersonal relationships during this time period, save for the long conversations with X6. They were mostly one-sided, but it seemed as if Shaun had found a friend at last. Honestly, Victoria hadn’t even considered that X6 might be that old, but his strong loyalty and overwhelming combat prowess certainly implied that he was a veteran if nothing else.  
  
As a young man, ambition seemed to drive Shaun the most. Memories flashed by of him toiling away in robotics, taking on his own pet projects alongside his responsibilities to try to win favor with the Director of the time. A synth that looked just like a certain old detective made an appearance, but Victoria quickly shrugged it off as a coincidence. Upon finding out where her allegiances lie, Victoria’s relationship with Nick was never really the same. To that point, they’d stopped speaking after the destruction of the Railroad. Maybe it was for the best in the end, considering the future that the Institute held for her and for synths. She’d rather excuse away any hint of relation than admit that Nick might’ve meant something to either mother or son.  
  
Achievement after achievement flooded in the older Shaun got, his dedication to work only growing exponentially with each passing memory. His need to interact with others became diminished, and only his work and studies mattered. When he finally was named Director, there were whispers about his qualifications, or lackthereof, crushing the few vestiges of compassion he might’ve had left for his colleagues. Clinical, logical, and forward-thinking was his style of leadership, and it earned him the respect he demanded. That was satisfactory enough. However, in one of his few displays of selfishness and emotion affecting his decisions, he shut down an entire division of the Institute in the name of spite and vengeance. Kellogg was too vital to the Institute to be gotten rid of outright, but if the Cybernetics no longer existed, the merc no longer had a safety net to rely on if he made a mistake.  
  
The next time Shaun let emotions dictate his actions wouldn’t be for decades, when he released Victoria from Vault 111. She saw that too. The Institute had been tracking her from the very beginning, ensuring every step of the way that she was on the right track if that seemed to be the direction she was headed in. So much of his time was spent simply watching her, it had become something of an obsession. She wondered if maybe this was Shaun’s way of showing he cared: after all, he was raised by an entire facility of careful observers. Maybe that’s just how he shows love.  
  
She watched his memories up until the present day. Preparing for Phase 3, being a father to the synth child he’d created, undergoing arduous, painful treatments to combat the disease that was steadily mutating and destroying him from the inside out. All the unspoken accomplishments that made Shaun strong, but no one ever even knew about.  
  
Another screech filled the room as the memory lounger once again opened. This time Victoria extended her hand down to Shaun, pulling up his tall, frail body as gingerly as she could with her new appreciation for his deteriorating health. They stood there together as Shaun’s senses returned to him, his mother’s hands holding him steady as he gathered his composure.  
  
With glossy eyes, Victoria held a genuine but pained smile as she cupped Shaun’s face in her hands. “Thank you,” she said softly, “I’m so proud of you, Shaun.”  
  
Purging the emotion from her face and her mind, Victoria inhaled sharply as she once again took on the demeanor befitting of the Institute’s new Director. She ejected a holotape from the terminal they’d been using, pocketing it before ascending the stairs once again. Despite hours having passed, she was pleased to see that everyone was just where she left them. Nodding to her faithful synth soldiers, Victoria inputted a command on her pipboy and disappeared along with Shaun in a zap of blue light, the synths following suit shortly after.


End file.
